For years, I’ve branded myself as a procrastinator.
This self-deprecating term isn’t entirely accurate. I feel as though it makes me sound lazy. Unmotivated. Uninterested.
However, when I proclaim I’m a procrastinator, what I’m not conveying to people is that I haven’t done a particular task because my focus is scattered, not because I’m lazy or don’t want to do it. There are SO many different things that I want to do, that they are all contenders for my attention. I’m not certain which one to do first.
Take this very moment, for instance. I have some days off, and there is a race going on in my head. A fight for priorities. I am writing, but I’m also doing laundry and thinking about all the emails I need to clean out of my inbox, and how I need to finish my maid of honor speech today, plus the workout/physiotherapy exercises to do, the errands that need to be run, and the house that desperately needs to be cleaned. There are those books I want to read, but it’s so beautiful outside and I should be taking advantage of it because these summer days are limited and I want to plan some hikes and bike trips and camping. There are unfinished projects, like going through travel photos from the past seven years that I am going to sort and print, and the beat-up sideboard table that’s sitting in my garage (half-sanded). I’ve been neglecting yoga lately, to the detriment of my hamstrings and hip flexors, but wouldn’t mountain biking be a great activity to take up? Also, I’m long overdue in catching up with some dear friends I haven’t seen in quite some time, plus there’s that obedience/scent detection course that I think Leila-dog would really benefit from attending, which I should look into. I have pretty much forgotten how to use my DSLR, so I’d like to brush up on my camera skills. I have some new cookbooks to try out and I’ve always wanted to learn how to crochet because, you know, throw blankets are a necessity. I miss horseback riding and would love to regularly visit the farm and have my mum coach me back into an acceptable riding form, and there’s that big trip my sister and I are planning for next year that I need to start researching. I want to brush up on my professional skills too and take some more courses. And, this blog layout annoys me and I want to make it more interesting.
That’s not even the entire list, of course.
Am I unwittingly a candidate for an ADHD diagnosis? Or am I just interested in too many things and need to narrow my focus?
Prioritize, organize, and finalize. Short-term vs long-term goals.
Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with all the possibilities that I start doing several things at once and don’t finish any of them for a prolonged length of time. Or, I just sit at the computer and list everything I want/need to do, to avoid making a decision.
Hmmm. Maybe I am a little bit of a procrastinator after all.